Dreams

[gatogirl919]

ur welcome.

okay so here it is:
your story is really good. it's surprising, sad, and yet very entertaining. The plot's thought out well and your descriptions are wonderful too. Though you do tend to skip around a little bit which can catch people off-guard. (But I don't think it's a big enough issue to worry about)

[nightshroud19]

haha thankyou Gatogirl

ill let you into a little secret that the plot isnt thought out at all i just write until i get to a place that sounds good to stop lol

i dont get what you mean by tend to skip around may you explain what you meant by this term?

also what were your views on chapter 11 wanted to make a dramatic and sad-ish climax did i succeed?

[Goggles]

Chapter 4.

Pure awesome, no other way to put it.

One thing, Ulforce Veedramon (or Alforce) despite their similarity doesn't digivolve from Veemon. He's the ultimate form of Veedramon Zero, from the V-Tamer manga (where his partner digidestined is Taichi, hehe). You did your homework, Alphamon can wipe the floor with the other Royal Knights. Take a look at this:

dma.wtw-x.net/dexveedrazero.shtml

Click on his digivolution lines and you'll see Ulforce Veedramon.

[nightshroud19]

veemon is also his rookie form though because veemon can digivolve into veedramon look at his evolutions on that very same site

[nightshroud19]

plus if you look on your link the digivolution says UlforceVeedramon ZERO the one in my fic is just the regular UlforceVeedramon

[Goggles]

I don't really trust the -or- part, you'll see Gatomon's also there.

[Goggles]

Aug 4, 2009 19:18:23 GMT -5 @nightshroud19 said:

plus if you look on your link the digivolution says UlforceVeedramon ZERO the one in my fic is just the regular UlforceVeedramon

Still digivolves from AeroVeedramon, no veemon in sight.

Just my two cents, that's all.

[nightshroud19]

well i needed Veemon to have a Mega form as they all needed one (youll see in next chapter) and on that site after exveemon it only shows his DNA with Stingmon into paildramon and i wanted them all to be seperate because theres a subliminal message behind it

[nightshroud19]

yes i know he goes from aeroveedramon but go all the way back to his rookiee form and you will see veemon it goes

veemon-veedramon/exveemon-aeroveedramon-ulforceveedramon


see: dma.wtw-x.net/dexvee.shtml

[Goggles]

Yeah, I saw that. It does kinda work, if you stretch the digivolution lines a bit since you can't use Magnamon. Most readers won't bother to check, they'll see UlforceVeedramon and think he looks a lot like Veemon.

[nightshroud19]

no dont worry i checked plus i liked the concept that the digidestined/tamers will have royal knights on there side and so will the other side i mean u got ulforceveedramon, gallantmon, sleipmon all with the tamers so that should even things out

[Goggles]

Did Veemon digivolve to Veedramon in the series? Wait this is an AU, d'oh!

I guess I'll have to read on, then.

[nightshroud19]

haha yes this AU to an extent, but yeah as the 02 lot didnt have mega forms (apart from tk and kari) im having to find them mega forms and some that they have given on different sites i dont agree with so ive changed at the moment thats only happend with wormmon ive changed his from grandkuwagamon to grandiskuwagamon and you will see why if you ever see a grandiskuwagamon

[gatogirl919]

Aug 4, 2009 14:39:29 GMT -5 @nightshroud19 said:

haha thankyou Gatogirl

ill let you into a little secret that the plot isnt thought out at all i just write until i get to a place that sounds good to stop lol

i dont get what you mean by tend to skip around may you explain what you meant by this term?

also what were your views on chapter 11 wanted to make a dramatic and sad-ish climax did i succeed?

*waves hand* oh that's fine. I do the exact same thing. XD

and what i mean by skip around is like you go from one place to the next and then so on. Hope that makes more sense. and yes you did suceed. i mean i wasn't expecting that...

[nightshroud19]

lol ill admit it i cried when i killed her off i know i know let the teasing of the british teenager with emotions ensue haha

and yeah sorry about the skipping but its trying to tell two or three stories at once but there wont be any skipping now until the sequel

but overall thankyou gatogirl and goggles for your support youve become two of my friends now haha even though me and goggles seem to debate more lol its nice having a knowledgeable adversary to banta with, this was like our third debate was it not goggles?