Dreams

[Goggles]

a'righty then,

[Goggles]

An unhealthily thin man smoking a cigarette, a bat on his shoulder and a skull print on his forehead eh? I think he's missing something; how 'bout a sign in bright bold colors that says 'EVIL VILLAIN'?

Your villain has quite the ominous presence. Although don't you think you're doing a bit too much with the skull print? All he needs is a pegleg and he's practically a pirate.

The scene with Yoshi was quite moving, albeit a little too short for me. The best melodramatic deaths take anywhere from half to a whole chapter. *shrugs* But if it works, it works.

Good job,

____
^{Last edited by Agito.}

[Madame Pika]

Just read the second chapter. Nothing to improve upon that I can think of. You've built up tension nicely.

[nightshroud19]

you have mis interpreted it the bat has the skull on his forehead because its DemiDevimon

and yeah i was rather disapointed by Yoshi's death but she wasnt a character that i wanted to make a huge fuss about in there death there will be other characters that have a more dramatic death

[nightshroud19]

thankyou Madame Pika

[Goggles]

Still looks like a pirate to me. I knew it was Demidevimon but I mistakenly placed the skull on Lazarus, sorry.

Ooh, more deaths. I hear there's going to be an update on this soon?

[nightshroud19]

yeah im working on it but its trying to juggle this, my own novel, coursework and the timeline thats the trouble.....plus one still needs a social life of course but i shall try and write some and upload it in this coming week

haha Lazarus with a skull on his head hmmmm thats given me an idea

[nightshroud19]

ok guys i have an announcement to make this fanfic Dreams now has a comic strip in the works so if anyone wants to see it when its done let me know ;D

[Madame Pika]

Wow that is soo cool. I love comic strips. *over reacts*

seriously, you don't want to read my overreaction.

[nightshroud19]

haha please write it i want to read it

p.s. how are coming along with reading the fic have you caught up yet? if so review please if its not to much trouble XD

[nightshroud19]

hey guys id like to thankyou all for your support so far and making this thread the longest on this forum whether that means it is that good or that i took up most of the room by babbling i dont remember but just like to tell you that chapter 12 which is the penultimate chapter will be up here and on fanfiction.net within the next 24 hours so make any preparations you want for reading it get your brother your sister your mother your family cat whatever you want sit comfortably in your chair with a beverage and snacks and enjoy the next to last chapter

thankyou all for your support Nightshroud ;D

[gatogirl919]

YAYZ!!!

[nightshroud19]

it feels like only yesterday i started

[gatogirl919]

i know what you mean.

[Magnamon]

it is very good man I like it check out mine plz!