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Post by Magnamon on Jul 28, 2010 10:20:33 GMT -5
not at all pm it to me
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Post by Magnamon on Jul 31, 2010 9:34:44 GMT -5
I finished chapter one (*giant sigh of relief*) here it is hope you like it _________________________________________________________________________ Hey, kids, whats story do you want to hear today? Oh, that one? Are you sure? Okay, suit yourself. _________________________________________________________________________ Well, I was at school then all of a sudden I was teleported to a rain forest. Very much like Adventure 01, I know. And as if that were not enough their were eight others there as well. "Um, where are we?", asked one of the others. "The better question is: 'How did we get here?'", answered one of the two girls. Obviously, we were a tiny bit confused. "Whoa whoa whoa, who are you people?", I asked. "I could ask you the same thing, kid.", replied one very angry Welshman. "Calm down, everyone, now first-" "Will you all shut up?!", screamed the other girl in the group. That got our attention. "Calm down, we need to find out where we are and get hel-" "Don't tell me to calm down you goggle-wearing freak!" That got the person to my right's attention. "Wait, goggles?" The girl that did not yell pulled up the "goggle-wearing freak's" goggles and slapped them onto his face. "Yup, goggles. Wait a minute." "Are you Goggles from Digimania?", asked the person to my right. "Uh, yeah, who are you?" "Lord Pata." The Welshman rose his hand and said, " Well, guys, it's me, Azza." The girl that did not yell said, "Well, I'm Amna." "That's great, but who is the person who called me a 'goggle-wearing freak'? Magna?", asked Goggles. I immediately raised my hand and replied, "I'm a bit insulted that you called me a girl, but I'm over here." "Oh, hi Magna." "Actually it's me, Millie. Sorry for yelling at you..." "That's fine." "Aw, Millie, how could you be so mean to little Goggles?", Azza said teasingly. "That's great. Hi, guys, but who is that guy?", I said, pointing at the one person who hadn't said a word this entire time. The guy right next to him said, "Me? I'm Digidestined of Trust or Tim." "Oh hi, Tim, but I was talking about the guy to your left." The silent figure broke his silence and said, "It's me, Signa..." "Hey, Signa." "So, where are we?", asked Goggles. "Looks like a rain forest.", replied Amna. "That's a bit erie; don't you think?", remarked LP. "What do you mean?", asked Signa. "Nine people who have one unifying connection getting teleported to a rain forest." "I was just waiting for the inevitable Kuwagamon attack." As if on cue, a GranKuwagamon landed right in front of us. "Ah, bullocks." "Digimon?! Oh no, Power Rangers? Someone saveus!", panicked Tim. I turned to LP and Amna and said, "You gonna calm him down or should I?" Azza slapped me on the head and said, "You think NOW'S the time to be making jokes, cake boy?!" "I always did want to go out laughing." The GranKuwagamon, obviously injured and hungry, crept closer and closer to the easiest prey of his life. At that moment, I thought, "Five minutes to midnight." "Well what do we do now?", asked Millie. "Wait for him to spontaniously combust?", I responded. In response to my response, everyone yelled, "WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" The GranKuwagamon crept closer and closer, saliviating on its claw. "Four minutes to midnight." __________________________________________________________________________ And that was chapter one
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Post by nightshroud19 on Jul 31, 2010 14:12:26 GMT -5
"I could ask you the same thing, kid.", replied one very angry Welshman. <<<<< oh that is so me well done Magna
quite like it, its a little messy though and quite confusing, try leaving a line for paragraphing, makes it easier to read in my opinion, other then that no criticism, role on chapter 2
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Post by Magnamon on Jul 31, 2010 15:32:04 GMT -5
thanks I will note that
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Post by Goggles on Aug 1, 2010 7:51:54 GMT -5
Same comments as Shroud. If you could add more detail so it doesn't look rushed, it'd be great.
Wonder if this means Millie dislikes me in RL, hm.
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Post by Magnamon on Aug 1, 2010 9:27:11 GMT -5
not at all I just thought that in this situation she would flip out and thank you
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Post by Madame Pika on Aug 1, 2010 12:51:17 GMT -5
If we're meeting up like that it would be different anyhow from how we met here.
kill everyone off now cause no one would predict that. I like how this has a nice comedy feel going already and I'm intregued to see how the action turns out.
Am I going to appear later from a rabbit hole wondering if I should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque or something? ^-^
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Post by Magnamon on Aug 1, 2010 12:57:57 GMT -5
yes when you tell which Digimon you want I can't plug you in without that peace of rather crucial info
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Post by Madame Pika on Aug 1, 2010 13:13:10 GMT -5
Chibimon!
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Post by Magnamon on Aug 1, 2010 13:16:48 GMT -5
you want Veemon too? alright
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Post by Madame Pika on Aug 1, 2010 13:18:16 GMT -5
yeah, I like V-mon. I'm intregued to see what kind of personality you give him... since I'm quite different from Daisuke.
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Post by Magnamon on Aug 1, 2010 13:21:03 GMT -5
well I have a V-mon as well with altered digivolution line yours will run through UlforceVeedramon since I don't have a Wormon
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Post by gatogirl919 on Aug 1, 2010 23:16:29 GMT -5
Same comments as Shroud. If you could add more detail so it doesn't look rushed, it'd be great. Wonder if this means Millie dislikes me in RL, hm. Heck no. Umm...idk if I'd flip out. My guess is probably so good job. If I saw Tim and everyone else, I'd probably stop though. I would yell at everyone to shut up though, regardless.
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Post by Magnamon on Aug 2, 2010 8:35:50 GMT -5
I knew I would portray you all well ;D
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Post by nightshroud19 on Aug 5, 2010 4:07:23 GMT -5
now come on chapter 2
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